A memory of abuse or of a traumatic event, when triggered can make a person feel powerless. In this situation, everything is beyond their control. The memory may not be in the foreground of the mind but deeply repressed, as a pattern, dormant in the subconscious mind. It can be triggered through association – a smell, a touch, a look, a word or tone or an action which generates a strong feeling of dislike – an emotion seething up from the core of the being.
This experience of powerlessness may be one of a multitude of causes contributing to the experience of resentment. Envy, jealousy, betrayal and other strong, negatively experienced emotions can also build up emotional patterns that give rise to resentment.
Latent in every man is a venom of amazing bitterness
Paul Valery
a black resentment; something that curses and loathes life,
a feeling of being trapped, of having trusted and been fooled,
of being the helpless prey of impotent rage, blind surrender,
the victim of a savage, ruthless power that gives and takes away,
enlists a man, and crowning injury inflicts upon him the humiliation
of feeling sorry for himself.
These negative emotional patterns can leave the resentful feeling empty, depleted, depressed and void of confidence. Resentment is often a “build-up” of bad things or experiences over time which the resentful have not fully processed and is holding onto. The resentful are full of resentment…feeling depleted, powerless and depressed, they lack confidence – a state of consciousness where the resentful and depressed relate everything to themselves. They don’t reach out to others.
Resentment is a tremendous undercurrent in dis-ease and illness. And yet, recovery is possible yet may not be easy.
Transcending resentment begins with accepting responsibility for your experience, facing up to it and dealing with it.
We are all patterned by the conditions of our life and how we have learned to respond to them. These patterns of thought and behaviour lie dormant within us. We may be triggered by something in our day that activates a buried or oh, so familiar, pattern from our past, before we are aware of what’s happening. Resentment is very hard to bring out. It’s very hard to tackle, as it’s hidden, deeply repressed and often complex.
While we don’t control our fate – we can create and set our intention…yet, that too, is difficult if we lack confidence.
Therapeutic Touch® energy field healing can help the person harbouring resentment, begin to relax. The healing sessions can facilitate shifts in consciousness fostering a sense of hope, renewed energy and the willingness to face up to resentment and deal with it – It’s this “willingness to act” that helps the individual begin to reclaim their power. “All healing is self healing”. The Therapeutic Touch practitioner facilitates the healing process….the outcome is beyond their control. This sense of “reclaiming their power” initiates the healing process. If they feel strong enough and together enough, they may feel like getting out into the world to experiment and see if they can do something to help someone else. Reaching out to others helps the person transcend their own suffering.
Awareness is the greatest agent of choice.
When we operate as if on “automatic pilot”, we forget ourselves as living now, in this moment, sustained and supported in the “universal soup” – that is all the life sustaining elements we take in with every breath, we fixate on the temporal – our personality and the ego that can become touchy and overly sensitive , easily triggered by others and the environment.
Yet, in the moment we recall our place in the whole and surrender ourselves to the “universal soup”, we relax and begin to release the resentments that tie us up, discarding them much like a snake sheds its skin.
Whenever you feel the impulse for resentment, disdain, hate or contempt, stop and notice the source – the person or thought that triggered this action. Hold that thought! Stop for a moment and breathe deeply a few times while holding the thought.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Rumi
Fill yourself with the breath of life and let yourself fill with light. Appreciate your ability to do this and then send this positive attitude and energy outward towards the individual or situation which triggered the impulse initially. See them in a new light – what are some positive qualities or attributes you appreciate in this person or situation?
Remember, the world is your mirror. What you see and focus on in others is what will become a focusing point in yourself.
Transform Resentment into Appreciation and Possibility
See the beauty and potential in the person. When you can’t find anything in the person or situation you can appreciate, then love their potential. Love them and the situation for itself – for what they may become – for the fact that they can be transformed.
This thought empowers possibilities and helps shift your thinking out of being stuck and revving on the same note.
Now, take a step back from the situation and explore the situation once again – this time looking for an underlying cause for the dynamic and identifying the trigger that provokes in you the feeling of resentment.
Doing Good is Good for You
Once you’ve gleaned your insights from the situation, resolve to take action in a way that will release and heal this pattern of response. A good practice in this situation is to ground and take a few deep breaths. Lead with good will. See the space around you and others become free of projection and clear so you can appreciate the situation for what it has to offer you.
Every day resolve to take positive action. Do some good for the person against whom you hold resentments. Kind thoughts and attention sustained over time can resolve all enmity. Think of the other person first. See the good will in the other and you will feel it in yourself and be able to act on it.
Use your own light, and return to the source of light.
Lao Tsu
That is called practicing eternity.
About Julia von Flotow
